The blame game is not anything new. It has been going on since the Garden of Eden and the fall of man! Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. Adam went as far as saying that “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree.” I had never noticed this before, but do you see just a hint of blaming God there as well? I think we’ve all said it at one point or another: God, why have you done this to me? Sometimes our trials are due to our own actions, and sometimes they are allowed by God to mold us into His image. This tendency to shift blame has permeated human history, more so today than ever before.

I can’t tell you how many mothers I know who are living this nightmare! But what about when your child blames you for everything that has gone wrong in his life? It raises questions about the nature of responsibility and accountability. Children often search for a scapegoat when faced with challenges, and as parents, we may feel the weight of those accusations. Where is the fine line between blaming the parents and taking responsibility for their actions in their adult lives? This dynamic can create a cycle of resentment and avoidance, where lessons go unlearned and growth is stunted.

What about those children who stop talking to their parents altogether so there is no hope of open dialogue or resolution? That is what I’m living through right now: unanswered questions, and unending doubts. One thing I do know for certain is that the Lord has not abandoned me to go through this calamity alone. In fact, He is the best solution to my problems!

Psalm 57:1-3 To the chief Musician, Altaschith, Michtam of David, when he fled from Saul in the cave. Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.  (2)  I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.  (3)  He shall send from heaven, and save me from the reproach of him that would swallow me up. Selah. God shall send forth his mercy and his truth.

Granted, David was fleeing from Saul and hiding in a cave when he wrote this Psalm. However, the same deep fear and anxiety he experienced lies deeply in the mother’s heart. The challenges we mothers face in today’s evil world are some that have not been experienced by previous generations. We are living in the end times, and the hearts of men are growing desperately cold. There are so many parts of these three verses above that apply to us, aren’t there? Do you see yourself in them, feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting and daily life? As I steer through this troubling time, I battle the uncertainties and pressures that come with being a mother of an adult man. However, I find myself being strengthened in my spirit, drawing inspiration from David’s words. His struggles mirror our own as we seek to balance our roles; fear is gradually replaced with a sense of peace and assurance, reminding us that we are not alone and that we can find peace and comfort in the midst our trials.

What a wonderful God we serve! We can trust Him to change the heart of our child just as He did ours at our salvation, providing us with hope and understanding through His love and grace. We should not abandon our children even when a child turns against us; rather, we must approach them with compassion and patience, reflecting the forgiveness we received from the Father. Yes, we have to hold them accountable, just as Jesus held the woman at the well accountable. But we won’t find a resolution when both sides are bitter and angry.

My pain has softened in the past eighteen months, and I feel certain it is because of the healing hand of my Heavenly Father. Don’t get me wrong, the pain is still there but it does not sting as it used to. The Lord is guiding me through the trials and tribulations of parenthood and teaching me the importance of unwavering faith in His perfect plan. It’s important that your child sees that as well! As you surrender your worries and fears to Him, you will grow stronger in your own relationship, learning to cherish each moment and trust in the transforming power of God’s love.

Consider yourself blessed if your child still speaks to you, even after he has blamed you for everything. I am not a counsellor, but I do know that if my son still spoke to me, I would encourage us to have honest and open communication. As difficult as it would be, I would listen intently to his accusations, understanding the root of his anger and that his words are coming from the enemy. The enemy would receive no greater joy than to destroy your family. I encourage you to listen with merciful ears and a loving heart. Try not to be defensive, justifying why you did certain things as parents. Just listen. Then, if you are able, pray with your child asking the Lord to work in both your lives to accomplish His will. If your child is opposed to prayer and insists on his point being the final word, then it may be time to stop the one-sided conversation and let it rest until emotions are not so heated. The old adage, “Time heals all wounds” is not always true. But it can diffuse a volatile situation. Wait on God’s timing; the Holy Spirit will reveal it to you.

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Our world today is being bombarded by ungrateful children with negative attitudes, making it increasingly difficult for parents to deal with the challenges of parenting. Yes, as parents we’ve made mistakes, as all those parents before us, and we would love a “do-over,” but that’s not going to happen! Instead, we must learn from our experiences and strive to guide our children with greater wisdom and love. We cannot change the heart of an embittered child, but God can! It is in His hands that we find hope and healing, as we pray for understanding and compassion to seep into their hearts. Make no mistake, the Lord hears your cries.

Psalm 116:1-2 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications.  (2)  Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.

God’s Word is the only thing that makes permanent changes to the heart, not only in your child’s but in yours as well. We must not allow ourselves to become bitter over the venomous words our child has spoken, as such negativity can cloud our judgment and cause our hearts to be hardened. Instead, by immersing ourselves in Scripture and allowing its teachings to influence our lives, we can have a more loving and patient reaction that will ultimately bring healing and connection within our family.

I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:

Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Psa 91:4  He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.

Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.

Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.