This is one of those topics that will eventually wreak havoc in the Christian home. It did mine. Although we tried to raise our sons according to the Scriptures, we admit we were not perfect parents. Only God is the ultimate perfect Father! When our prodigal stopped communicating with us, I fought so many emotions! My heart was torn apart with not only grief but doubts. Did we do all we could? Did we discipline too much; not enough? Were we too strict with our rules? We made sure they went to church when the doors opened, and they went to church youth functions. I did morning devotions with them and prayed with them, hoping to instill in them a deep and abiding faith that would guide them throughout their lives. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that one of my sons would totally walk away from the faith. The other son and his wife believe that church and the Bible should not be pushed on kids; they want to leave it to their children to make a choice when they are older. That is not how they were raised, but it is how they turned out as adults, making choices that sometimes leave us bewildered, wondering where we went wrong in shaping their spirituality. There is a Bible verse that we parents have memorized and pray for it to come true in our own prodigals’ lives:

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Some men and women never grow up emotionally. They mature physically but their emotional and spiritual lives are like rebellious teenagers, often reacting to situations rather than responding thoughtfully. If you have the opportunity to speak with your adult child, choose your words carefully and with intention. It is essential to remind them that you love them unconditionally and that you are always there for them should the need arise, ready to listen and support. Encourage open communication, inviting them to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Don’t sacrifice your beliefs on their altar of unbelief; instead, stand firm and don’t compromise on your values. Do everything in love, with patience and understanding, recognizing that emotional growth can take time. If you are not able to speak to your adult child, then wholly lean on the Lord and let Him do the work! Trust in His timing and wisdom, knowing that He is capable of reaching hearts in ways that you can’t.

In my prodigal’s case, we were blamed for everything that ever went wrong in his life. His heart is now hard, and he is convinced we are his problem. But are we? A dear missionary mother who was speaking from experience told me to be careful not to believe everything he claimed we did, as it would cause us to fall into the guilt trip, and it would be hard to escape it. She was absolutely right! It was the natural progression of this mother’s broken heart, wrestling with emotions that felt insurmountable. Who did I have to thank for that guilt trap? The father of lies; the devil himself! The moment I thought back to something our son said in his departing message, pain would raise its ugly head, and the enemy used it relentlessly, twisting my perception and deepening my sorrow. Dwelling on it solved nothing; rather, it only managed to cause depression and more pain, compounding the anguish and making the journey toward healing seem distant and elusive. Each negative thought was like a weight, dragging me further into despair, pulling at the very fabric of my spirit and threatening to shatter my resolve. Yet, amid this turmoil, I began to realize that letting go was essential—not just for my peace, but perhaps even for my son’s. The Lord loves us and is tenderhearted toward our sorrows, mothers. He gives us verses that remind us of this:

Psalm 25:6 Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.

My sons are adults and are responsible for their actions, no matter how they were raised! I was raised in a dysfunctional home, but I claimed responsibility for my actions and suffered the consequences without blaming my parents. This was not an easy path, as the scars of my upbringing often lingered in my mind, but I knew that personal growth required facing those challenges head-on. My oldest sister was totally different! She was not saved and handled her upbringing the same way our oldest son did, often deflecting her problems onto our parents instead of taking accountability. We must recognize the fact that our children are now adults and must come to salvation and repentance the same way we did. They have concocted the idea that there is no salvation necessary, or they simply no longer care.

Proverbs 16:25  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

What we can and should do is pray for them, for prayer is a powerful tool that connects us with God who is the only One who can solve this problem. Nothing is impossible with God! It is His will for our children to be saved and serving Him, walking in light and truth. When we pray for this, we are praying in His will, aligning our desires with His perfect plans for their lives. These are the types of prayers God loves and answers, as they reflect a deep concern for the eternal souls of our loved ones. It may not be in our timeframe, but they will be answered in ways that are often beyond our understanding, revealing His grace and timing. In every prayer, we express our trust and faith in His infinite wisdom, knowing that He hears each cry of our hearts and responds with love.

Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

Every situation is different, but the outcome is the same, dear mother! Don’t be discouraged! Yes, it’s painful and you miss your child terribly, wishing to hear his voice again; to hug him and kiss him. It’s natural to feel this overwhelming urge to step in and take control, but interfering and trying to fix the problem will only make it worse. In these moments, we must remember that we are not alone in this journey. We must allow the Holy Spirit of the Living God to work in their lives just as He works in ours. His gentle guidance, sometimes not so gentle, is what brings about true change. When we try to intercede, thinking we are doing good, we most likely are hindering the Spirit’s work! This is a delicate balance of faith where trust is essential. We must remember that the Holy Spirit’s work is always perfect! He is God after all, with a plan that surpasses our understanding. Don’t get caught in the middle of this struggle; instead, free yourself from that responsibility. Let Him do His work! Trust that His timing and methods are far better than our own and allow your heart to be at peace as you release your worries into His capable hands.

1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:

Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Psa 91:4  He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.

Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.

Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.