1 Cor. 15:52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
Have you ever heard of living grief? Living grief is when a child who has broken all communication with his parents, leaving behind not just silence but an entire “gulf” of unspoken words and unresolved feelings. The parents mourn their loss deeply, continuously, knowing there is no light at the end of that tunnel. I totally get that! It is worse than grieving over someone who is dead, for with death there is a marked end, a chance for closure that living grief denies. How can I say something that appears thoughtless? You see, reader, death comes with its own finality, a period at the end of a painful sentence. One no longer wonders if the child will come home at the end of the day or if a simple phone call might bring relief to an aching and broken heart. Living grief is open ended, filled with endless questions and a haunting sense of uncertainty. There is no finality, no peace to be found, as each day can either bring hope or despair. Furthermore, if no communication goes on for years, it remains like a cloud hanging ominously overhead, blocking out the sunshine of joyful memories and future possibilities. I must say it’s oppressive, a constant reminder of what once was and what may never be again. There are times that I was in such agony, feeling as if I were carrying the weight of a thousand unasked questions, each one pressing down harder than the last, making it almost unbearable to navigate through daily life.
I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I do see the Light of the world in my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. He is the firm foundation upon which I build my life, and He provides stability in the stormy seas of my life. He is my Rock, unshakeable, unmovable, and steadfast, a source of strength when I feel weary and overwhelmed. He is my Comforter, gently embracing me in times of heartache and despair, reminding me that I am never alone. This trial has shown me how much I need Him to be my “center” in life, guiding my thoughts and actions as I meet each day’s complexities. In every moment of confusion and doubt, Christ has become my focal point in the midst of my day’s challenges, instilling hope in my heart. With His presence, I am learning to trust the process and embrace the journey, knowing that I am held in His loving arms. He has allowed me to go through this painful journey for a reason and therefore I trust Him for its outcome!
Psa 63:1 A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;
Surviving each day with living grief is no easy task, and it often feels like driving through a dense fog of sorrow. My first thoughts in the morning are about my prodigal son, a reminder of the memories, now shadowed by reality. To show you how different we mothers are, I have a friend who had to remove her daughters’ pictures from her digital frame because it was too painful for her and her husband; the absence of those images became a shield against the raw ache of loss. In contrast, I have chosen to keep my son’s pictures on my digital frame not just as a way to remember him, but to help remind me to pray for him, despite the pain he has caused and the heartache I endure. I find it therapeutic—like a small ritual of remembrance, it helps me to let go of the hurt and replace it with the Kingdom of God in mind. Each image serves as a catalyst for prayer, encouraging me to envision a future filled with hope and restoration. I pray for his salvation and that the Holy Spirit would have His way with him, guiding him back to what he was taught as a child. This daily practice, though bittersweet, offers me strength and a way to keep my faith alive amid the turmoil.
Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.
Picture in your mind Satan standing behind you, whispering in your ear, telling you that your child had no right to do this to you. Picture him trying to make you dwell on the circumstances of your living grief so that you become embittered and discouraged, feeling as though you are trapped in an emotional maze with no escape. This is what the enemy is all about; he thrives on your pain and seeks to amplify your suffering, attempting to blind you to the love and support that still surrounds you. He wants to devour you and ruin your faith in Christ, dragging you into despair and isolation. But remember, because we are children of Almighty God, we can fight back with the following two verses! It works every time for me, providing a powerful reminder of God’s strength. Stop the enemy in his tracks and quote Scripture, allowing the truth of God’s promises to penetrate the darkness, shining on your path, helping you reclaim your joy and hope in the midst of this horrible trial.
1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
The Word of God is powerful! Jesus quoted it to Satan when He was in the wilderness, revealing the strength that comes from Scripture. His example serves to help us learn to use the Scriptures as our sword against the same enemy! (Hebrews 4:12) In times of trials, we can draw upon these divine truths to strengthen our resolve and fortify our spirit. Be encouraged, dear reader! You are not alone in your battle! There are countless sisters in Christ who are dealing with this living grief revolving around their prodigals. They are experiencing heartache and seeking solace through prayer and fellowship just as you are. Together, we can support each other, share our testimonies, and remind one another of the hope that exists in God’s promises. With faith and perseverance, we will find strength to overcome and rejoice in the victories that lie ahead, thanks to the Lord’s intervention.
If you’ve been given this link to help you with your grief but have not experienced the love of Christ in your life, please follow this link and read the Scriptures that will guide you to salvation in Jesus Christ.
The blame game is not anything new. It has been going on since the Garden of Eden and the fall of man! Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. Adam went as far as saying that “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree.” I had never noticed this before, but do you see just a hint of blaming God there as well? I think we’ve all said it at one point or another: God, why have you done this to me? Sometimes our trials are due to our own actions, and sometimes they are allowed by God to mold us into His image. This tendency to shift blame has permeated human history, more so today than ever before.
I can’t tell you how many mothers I know who are living this nightmare! But what about when your child blames you for everything that has gone wrong in his life? It raises questions about the nature of responsibility and accountability. Children often search for a scapegoat when faced with challenges, and as parents, we may feel the weight of those accusations. Where is the fine line between blaming the parents and taking responsibility for their actions in their adult lives? This dynamic can create a cycle of resentment and avoidance, where lessons go unlearned and growth is stunted.
What about those children who stop talking to their parents altogether so there is no hope of open dialogue or resolution? That is what I’m living through right now: unanswered questions, and unending doubts. One thing I do know for certain is that the Lord has not abandoned me to go through this calamity alone. In fact, He is the best solution to my problems!
Psalm 57:1-3 To the chief Musician, Altaschith, Michtam of David, when he fled from Saul in the cave. Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast. (2) I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me. (3) He shall send from heaven, and save me from the reproach of him that would swallow me up. Selah. God shall send forth his mercy and his truth.
Granted, David was fleeing from Saul and hiding in a cave when he wrote this Psalm. However, the same deep fear and anxiety he experienced lies deeply in the mother’s heart. The challenges we mothers face in today’s evil world are some that have not been experienced by previous generations. We are living in the end times, and the hearts of men are growing desperately cold. There are so many parts of these three verses above that apply to us, aren’t there? Do you see yourself in them, feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting and daily life? As I steer through this troubling time, I battle the uncertainties and pressures that come with being a mother of an adult man. However, I find myself being strengthened in my spirit, drawing inspiration from David’s words. His struggles mirror our own as we seek to balance our roles; fear is gradually replaced with a sense of peace and assurance, reminding us that we are not alone and that we can find peace and comfort in the midst our trials.
What a wonderful God we serve! We can trust Him to change the heart of our child just as He did ours at our salvation, providing us with hope and understanding through His love and grace. We should not abandon our children even when a child turns against us; rather, we must approach them with compassion and patience, reflecting the forgiveness we received from the Father. Yes, we have to hold them accountable, just as Jesus held the woman at the well accountable. But we won’t find a resolution when both sides are bitter and angry.
My pain has softened in the past eighteen months, and I feel certain it is because of the healing hand of my Heavenly Father. Don’t get me wrong, the pain is still there but it does not sting as it used to. The Lord is guiding me through the trials and tribulations of parenthood and teaching me the importance of unwavering faith in His perfect plan. It’s important that your child sees that as well! As you surrender your worries and fears to Him, you will grow stronger in your own relationship, learning to cherish each moment and trust in the transforming power of God’s love.
Consider yourself blessed if your child still speaks to you, even after he has blamed you for everything. I am not a counsellor, but I do know that if my son still spoke to me, I would encourage us to have honest and open communication. As difficult as it would be, I would listen intently to his accusations, understanding the root of his anger and that his words are coming from the enemy. The enemy would receive no greater joy than to destroy your family. I encourage you to listen with merciful ears and a loving heart. Try not to be defensive, justifying why you did certain things as parents. Just listen. Then, if you are able, pray with your child asking the Lord to work in both your lives to accomplish His will. If your child is opposed to prayer and insists on his point being the final word, then it may be time to stop the one-sided conversation and let it rest until emotions are not so heated. The old adage, “Time heals all wounds” is not always true. But it can diffuse a volatile situation. Wait on God’s timing; the Holy Spirit will reveal it to you.
Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.
Our world today is being bombarded by ungrateful children with negative attitudes, making it increasingly difficult for parents to deal with the challenges of parenting. Yes, as parents we’ve made mistakes, as all those parents before us, and we would love a “do-over,” but that’s not going to happen! Instead, we must learn from our experiences and strive to guide our children with greater wisdom and love. We cannot change the heart of an embittered child, but God can! It is in His hands that we find hope and healing, as we pray for understanding and compassion to seep into their hearts. Make no mistake, the Lord hears your cries.
Psalm 116:1-2 I love the LORD, because he hath heard my voice and my supplications. (2) Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live.
God’s Word is the only thing that makes permanent changes to the heart, not only in your child’s but in yours as well. We must not allow ourselves to become bitter over the venomous words our child has spoken, as such negativity can cloud our judgment and cause our hearts to be hardened. Instead, by immersing ourselves in Scripture and allowing its teachings to influence our lives, we can have a more loving and patient reaction that will ultimately bring healing and connection within our family.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
Family dynamics can be so complicated at times. We hear of countless stories of family gatherings at Thanksgiving, where laughter and joy mingle with tension, and how countless topics must be avoided due to differences of opinion. The topic of religion is always one of those subjects that can ignite passionate debates, causing conflict among family members who hold contrasting beliefs. There once was a time when friendly debates could ensue without explosive displays of anger. However, today’s world has produced a bunch of angry people who are not afraid to speak their minds, omitting grace in their words. Often, individuals may feel compelled to suppress their true thoughts or opinions, choosing instead to focus on lighter subjects like football games or the culinary masterpieces served at the table, in the hope of keeping the peace and ensuring that the spirit of the holiday is not diminished.
But what about day-to-day relationships with our children? This is where the rubber meets the road, as it profoundly affects our lives and emotional wellbeing. I am going through this at the moment, struggling with complex dynamics. Our oldest son has abandoned our relationship altogether, leaving a significant void that weighs heavily on our family. Meanwhile, the relationship with our other son and his wife is strained, creating an atmosphere of discomfort that can’t be ignore. The two sons are close, a bond we deeply cherish, and we don’t want to interfere with that connection, as it’s crucial for their growth and support. However, when we do visit with our other son, we find ourselves in an awkward position; we can’t talk about his brother because our grandchildren are present, and we would never want them to hear negative words about their uncle. This creates an emotional barrier, limiting the conversations we long to have. We feel as though we are walking on eggshells when we do get together. It’s especially strained because our son agrees with portions of his brother’s complaints. It’s terrible when you cannot have adult conversations with your family without someone getting angry! It leaves us longing for open, honest dialogue, yet feeling constrained and worried that any attempt to express ourselves will only lead to further discord.
Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
We seem to have warmer conversations with brothers and sisters in Christ than we do with our own children, which is extremely sad and leaves us feeling quite isolated. What once seemed to be a family living in harmony has now become conflicting, filled with misunderstandings and a lack of connection. My husband and I are in our 70’s, a stage of life we had hoped would be filled with the joy of family gatherings and shared experiences. We never dreamed we would be living the last years of our lives without our children, longing for the laughter and love that once echoed in our home. It is a heavy burden to carry, seeing the distance grow and wishing for the days when we could all come together to create cherished memories. The absence of these moments has not only affected our spirits but has also made us reflect deeply on the importance of family ties and the love that should transcend any differences. Although the following verse speaks of parents forsaking their children, our situation is the opposite. However, I cling to the latter part of the verse:
Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
When there is no dialogue, there cannot be any healing, and this fact underscores the complications in relationships. That is the crux of the matter, highlighting the importance of open communication and understanding, which foster genuine connections. The only solution is to trust in the Lord to take care of this sticky problem, as faith can provide guidance and solace in times of uncertainty. It enables us to find strength even in our deepest distress. This allows us to navigate through our challenges with His grace producing resilience, teaching us that through every trial we encounter, there is an opportunity for growth and healing. Since we cannot initiate conversations with the prodigal son, we must strive to do so with our other son, in God’s timing of course, recognizing that patience is often a virtue that leads to change. I have learned to love the following verses as I wait on the Lord for His answers, holding onto His promises as a source of hope that reassures me in my journey. It reaffirms that every moment spent in prayer and reflection is a step toward deeper understanding and reconciliation.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Psalm 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
I wasn’t at first, but now I am thankful that the Lord has allowed me to go through this because He has taught me that this is one area that I cannot fix on my own. I must leave the details to Him and allow Him to work through each problem.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
This is one of those topics that will eventually wreak havoc in the Christian home. It did mine. Although we tried to raise our sons according to the Scriptures, we admit we were not perfect parents. Only God is the ultimate perfect Father! When our prodigal stopped communicating with us, I fought so many emotions! My heart was torn apart with not only grief but doubts. Did we do all we could? Did we discipline too much; not enough? Were we too strict with our rules? We made sure they went to church when the doors opened, and they went to church youth functions. I did morning devotions with them and prayed with them, hoping to instill in them a deep and abiding faith that would guide them throughout their lives. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that one of my sons would totally walk away from the faith. The other son and his wife believe that church and the Bible should not be pushed on kids; they want to leave it to their children to make a choice when they are older. That is not how they were raised, but it is how they turned out as adults, making choices that sometimes leave us bewildered, wondering where we went wrong in shaping their spirituality. There is a Bible verse that we parents have memorized and pray for it to come true in our own prodigals’ lives:
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Some men and women never grow up emotionally. They mature physically but their emotional and spiritual lives are like rebellious teenagers, often reacting to situations rather than responding thoughtfully. If you have the opportunity to speak with your adult child, choose your words carefully and with intention. It is essential to remind them that you love them unconditionally and that you are always there for them should the need arise, ready to listen and support. Encourage open communication, inviting them to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Don’t sacrifice your beliefs on their altar of unbelief; instead, stand firm and don’t compromise on your values. Do everything in love, with patience and understanding, recognizing that emotional growth can take time. If you are not able to speak to your adult child, then wholly lean on the Lord and let Him do the work! Trust in His timing and wisdom, knowing that He is capable of reaching hearts in ways that you can’t.
In my prodigal’s case, we were blamed for everything that ever went wrong in his life. His heart is now hard, and he is convinced we are his problem. But are we? A dear missionary mother who was speaking from experience told me to be careful not to believe everything he claimed we did, as it would cause us to fall into the guilt trip, and it would be hard to escape it. She was absolutely right! It was the natural progression of this mother’s broken heart, wrestling with emotions that felt insurmountable. Who did I have to thank for that guilt trap? The father of lies; the devil himself! The moment I thought back to something our son said in his departing message, pain would raise its ugly head, and the enemy used it relentlessly, twisting my perception and deepening my sorrow. Dwelling on it solved nothing; rather, it only managed to cause depression and more pain, compounding the anguish and making the journey toward healing seem distant and elusive. Each negative thought was like a weight, dragging me further into despair, pulling at the very fabric of my spirit and threatening to shatter my resolve. Yet, amid this turmoil, I began to realize that letting go was essential—not just for my peace, but perhaps even for my son’s. The Lord loves us and is tenderhearted toward our sorrows, mothers. He gives us verses that remind us of this:
Psalm 25:6 Remember, O LORD, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.
My sons are adults and are responsible for their actions, no matter how they were raised! I was raised in a dysfunctional home, but I claimed responsibility for my actions and suffered the consequences without blaming my parents. This was not an easy path, as the scars of my upbringing often lingered in my mind, but I knew that personal growth required facing those challenges head-on. My oldest sister was totally different! She was not saved and handled her upbringing the same way our oldest son did, often deflecting her problems onto our parents instead of taking accountability. We must recognize the fact that our children are now adults and must come to salvation and repentance the same way we did. They have concocted the idea that there is no salvation necessary, or they simply no longer care.
Proverbs 16:25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
What we can and should do is pray for them, for prayer is a powerful tool that connects us with God who is the only One who can solve this problem. Nothing is impossible with God! It is His will for our children to be saved and serving Him, walking in light and truth. When we pray for this, we are praying in His will, aligning our desires with His perfect plans for their lives. These are the types of prayers God loves and answers, as they reflect a deep concern for the eternal souls of our loved ones. It may not be in our timeframe, but they will be answered in ways that are often beyond our understanding, revealing His grace and timing. In every prayer, we express our trust and faith in His infinite wisdom, knowing that He hears each cry of our hearts and responds with love.
Psalm 18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.
Every situation is different, but the outcome is the same, dear mother! Don’t be discouraged! Yes, it’s painful and you miss your child terribly, wishing to hear his voice again; to hug him and kiss him. It’s natural to feel this overwhelming urge to step in and take control, but interfering and trying to fix the problem will only make it worse. In these moments, we must remember that we are not alone in this journey. We must allow the Holy Spirit of the Living God to work in their lives just as He works in ours. His gentle guidance, sometimes not so gentle, is what brings about true change. When we try to intercede, thinking we are doing good, we most likely are hindering the Spirit’s work! This is a delicate balance of faith where trust is essential. We must remember that the Holy Spirit’s work is always perfect! He is God after all, with a plan that surpasses our understanding. Don’t get caught in the middle of this struggle; instead, free yourself from that responsibility. Let Him do His work! Trust that His timing and methods are far better than our own and allow your heart to be at peace as you release your worries into His capable hands.
1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
I believe losing a child by death must be the worst trial a parent can go through! I have never lost a child, nor can I even begin to imagine the pain that dwells in a mother’s heart. The finality must be hard to get through, as the absence changes not only the family dynamic but also the very essence of a mother’s “being.” If the child did not die at birth or soon thereafter, each moment spent together, every shared laugh, and the dreams woven for the future are suddenly replaced with a haunting void that seems insurmountable. I imagine that the bittersweet memories linger in the air, casting shadows over ordinary days, and the relentless ache of loss echoes in her soul, making the journey to healing appear discouraging and endlessly painful. Even in the simplest tasks like laundry and meals, this poor mother thinks of washing her child’s clothes or preparing her child’s favorite meal. Finding solace becomes a daily quest filled with challenges, as this mother navigates through grief, seeking understanding in a world that suddenly feels so empty of joy and light.
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
The Lord knows that pain and is ready to heal that broken heart. David’s psalms are filled with the different pains and fears that were a part of his life. We see various scenarios as we read through the blessed Book of Psalms. The circumstances may have been different, but his efforts to find comfort were the same. He turned to the Lord!
Psalm 38:10 My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
David wasn’t afraid to tell God exactly how he felt. He dissects those feelings and makes it clear to God just what is happening. It’s not as if God doesn’t know. But it’s important for David to share with God precisely what he is feeling. Note that David uses the various parts of his body to explain to God what is happening:
His heart – the seat of his emotions
His strength – the seat of his spiritual life
His eyes – the seat of the light of the Word entering
God knows what you are going through, dear mothers. He knows your pain intimately. He knew what David was going through and listened to David as he poured his heart out to Him. David also recognized that losing his child was not the end. He knew that there was a hope of seeing that child again. This is why we know that all children go to Heaven. Those children who have not understood the difference between right and wrong, and sin, go to be with the Lord when they die. David said:
2 Samuel 12:23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
David knew that there was life after death. He understood how to encourage his own heart in the Lord, often reflecting on God’s love and grace. In times of sorrow, he found solace in the knowledge that his baby boy was resting peacefully with the Lord, embraced by perfect comfort and joy. This conviction helped him deal with the pains of loss, reminding him that love goes beyond the boundaries of death. If you believe the Bible to be true, encourage yourself with the promises God has clearly outlined in His Word, for they are your source of hope and strength. We know there is life after death where we will be reunited with our loved ones. These are easy words to speak but are they easy words to live by?
Dear mother, be encouraged that you will see your child again. It is not a permanent loss; it is simply a temporary one, a pause in a journey that still holds hope for reunion. There is nothing profound that I can say that will make that mother feel any better; her pain is unique and deeply personal. Her grief goes beyond this world, wrapped in memories of laughter and dreams that will never be realized, leaving her to live a life forever altered by sorrow. In this shared experience of loss, may we find solace in the understanding that we are not alone, as we hold onto our cherished memories in our hearts.
One thing I have learned from grieving mothers is that it does not go away. The wound may heal slightly, but the memories live on, etched into her heart in ways we never truly expected. It is a battle that she must fight daily in order to stay above the grief, constantly swimming in a sea of emotions that can easily be overwhelming. Some days are better than others.
I find comfort in sharing with other mothers who are going through the same pain I am going through; together, we create a common ground for our shared sorrows, offering one another understanding, compassion, and hope. Helping someone else navigate through their pain helps me heal. No, I have not experienced the death of my child, but it may very well be a close second since he chooses not to be a part of our lives. He left a void that feels heavy and complex. Each conversation with these incredible women deepens my resolve to stay faithful and be centered in the Word.
Grieving mother, God delights in you! He will bring you through this. The born-again child of God has a special place in God’s own heart. You are His! Just as your child belongs to you, you belong to the Almighty God! Trust in His capable hands and perfect will for your life. If you allow Him to encourage you, He will uphold you!
Psalm 18:19 He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.
Psalm 37:23-24 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. (24) Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psalm 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
Weddings are such a joyous occasion! 💜 We welcome a daughter-in-law or a son-in-law into the family and we as parents now have an additional child! What a blessing that is!!! But sometimes what starts off well, doesn’t continue well. Our children’s spouses play an important part of the family dynamics. Oh, that all daughters-in-law were like Ruth, or sons-in-law like Joshua. For those mothers who have raised their children in church, you understand that your sons will leave and cleave to their wife. This is a commandment ordained by God, representing the proper order of marriage as designed in scripture. The Hebrew word for “leave” is “‛âzab,” which means to loosen or relinquish; it indicates a purposeful transition rather than a careless departure. It is important to understand that this does not imply abandoning one’s family but rather it signifies the important step of leaving one’s parent’s home with the intention of establishing a new, independent family unit. In this journey, sons are called to become leaders in their own homes, creating a loving and guiding environment for their wives and future children. This directive from God encourages not only emotional maturity but also a deeper commitment to their marital relationships, reinforcing the sacred bond of unity that marriage represents. By embracing this calling, they honor both their families of origin and the new families they are entrusted to build.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Christian parents pray that they have raised their sons to be godly leaders in their family and praying that what they have taught their children is deeply rooted. However, as life unfolds, some marry a woman who manages to subtly change the son’s heart, especially when it comes to spiritual matters and priorities. It may not be intentional on her part, but merely a by-product of her upbringing. This influence may sometimes lead them away from their upbringing, creating a divide between the values they were taught and the new beliefs they adopt. A prime example of this is seen in the life of Solomon, who, despite God’s explicit warnings that this would occur if he allowed foreign gods into his home, found himself enchanted by the very practices that contradicted his faith. Solomon’s story serves as a warning, illustrating the profound impact that relationships can have on one’s spiritual journey and the importance of staying true to one’s beliefs amidst external pressures.
1 Kings 11:4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
It is so important for our adult children to marry within the faith, as this foundational choice shapes their spiritual journey and the dynamics of their family life. Being unequally yoked goes against Scripture, as emphasized in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (15) And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?” These verses emphasize the significant spiritual differences that can arise when faith is not aligned. I know quite a few women, me included, who were saved after they were married, and their husbands did not follow suit soon thereafter in salvation, creating a spiritual division in the household. The children are then raised in two contrasting “spiritual atmospheres”: a godly mother who strives to instill Christian values, and a worldly father whose beliefs and actions are significantly different. This double life often leads to confusion for the children, as they struggle with differing perspectives on morality, spirituality, and life choices. It is our hope that through guidance, prayer, and open communication, these challenges can be worked out, ensuring that our legacy of faith is upheld in their generation. We pray that what we have taught our own children, will return to their memory before it’s too late for their own children.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
But what about the mother whose son has married a woman who is trying to destroy his connection with his parents, or vice versa? She is jealous of the beautiful connection and relationship her husband has with his mother. I have a dear friend who is living this trial, and it has been going on for two or three years! Truths are twisted into lies, and after a while, her son’s heart has been turned against those who have loved and nurtured him from the beginning. It is a heartbreaking situation that can leave parents feeling helpless and confused. She loves the Lord and relies on Him to open doors. She used to hear from her son daily and now not so much as a call or text. Her mother’s “rug” has been pulled from underneath and has left her in turmoil! What is she to do? Only the Lord can heal this broken heart.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Mothers struggle with the thought of their son abandoning their relationship. If at all possible, when there are sincere opportunities to correct the matter with the truth, it is important to seize those moments wisely. However, I believe it is crucial to remember that it is never good to interfere between a man and his wife. He is obligated to put her needs, and the needs of his family, first. Rather than trying to “get even” or insert your comments/feelings that may only escalate tensions, it is far more beneficial to pray for their marriage. Seek to intercede on their behalf, asking the Lord to work in their hearts to return to Him, and to reconcile where there seems to be only division and strife. In moments of frustration, turning that energy into prayer is the most powerful and loving response a concerned parent can offer. The verse that comes to mind about interfering or inserting my views where the Lord may not want me to is:
Proverbs 26:17 He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.
Granted this verse speaks of butting into someone else’s business. But I view opinions shared by my child and his spouse as their business, not mine. If I inject my feelings where they are not welcome, I will reap push back on their part. I am not talking about standing firm on the Bible and its teachings. I’m talking about family dynamics where there are differences of opinion. But when it comes to spiritual matteres, sometimes we have to cut ties, or limit fellowship, with our children because they have turned so far away from God that it’s impossible to overlook the sin. I have a friend whose son is a homosexual and wanted to visit her from out of town with his “friend.” She could not in all good conscience allow them to stay with her without it seeming as though she approved of their lifestyle. She told her son about her conviction. They did meet at restaurants and she always strived to talk about the Lord and His forgiveness.
Each situation is different. We need to remember to practice the spirit of forgiveness and to extend grace. But if there is conflict, it is best to deal with your own child one-on-one and speak your mind. Christian parents must be careful to keep their testimony for Christ in such cases: even when it’s our own children! We never know how we will affect the upbringing of our grandchildren.
Psalm 78:2-4 I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: (3) Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. (4) We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done.
We are all different and we are beautiful creations of God, made in His image. Not one of us is the same, and we all have our own unique makeup, designed and crafted by His loving hands! It is essential to embrace this truth, for our differences are a reflection of God’s creativity and genius. We must remember that as much pain as this is to us mothers, God is working in the background, working out hope and healing that we may not always see at first. In moments of despair or uncertainty, take comfort in knowing that God hears your prayers and understands your heart’s cries. Pray fervently for His intercession in that spouse’s life, for even the smallest whisper of faith can move mountains. Forget the lies that are being spoken about you; the more you dwell on them, the more pain you’ll be in. [Picture the enemy standing behind you, whispering in your ear and reviewing all the lies said about you.] Fill your mind with godly things, not the things of this world. (Colossians 3:2)
Foremost, pray for salvation if it is needed, as the gift of eternal life is the most crucial point of all. If the spouse is saved, seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance and influence in their home, trusting that His presence can transform lives and relationships. Remember, nothing is impossible with God, for His power knows no bounds and His love can penetrate even the darkest of hearts. Keep your faith unwavering, and let your prayers rise like incense before Him, for He is always listening and ready to act. He delights in our prayers because it reveals our need for Him and His perfect will for our lives.
Proverbs 15:8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.
In the meantime, switch your thoughts from this heart-wrenching situation to your own spiritual growth and well-being. If you are not able to resolve the conflict with conversation, then it is out of your control, amen? I am in this situation at the moment, feeling the weight of that silence that speaks volumes. Our son will not allow any form of communication, and so we are totally cut off from the joy of his presence and the warmth of our once-close relationship. Some days bring a new wave of longing and questions that linger in the air, unanswered. Those days must be turned over to the Lord or the enemy will have his way with your thoughts. Is it due to his wife interfering? Maybe, but we can’t be certain, and that uncertainty adds to the pain. We know he harbors horrible memories of his childhood, whether they are fact or exaggerated memories, and that realization brings a heavy heart. All we know is that we are no longer a part of his life, and it feels like a vacuum where love and connection used to thrive, leaving us grasping at those fragments of the past. This is their wish, not ours; it is out of our control. Jesus promises us that He is near to the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18). He knows what you are going through! He’s not hiding in the shadows or behind a curtain. He knows you!
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Psalm 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;
Navigating through this emotional labyrinth (yes, I mean labyrinth) is difficult and often feels like walking on a tightrope of grief, confusion, and hope. If this is the same with you, then it is out of your control as well. Remember, though, that focusing on your own healing and finding peace within can be a vital step in learning to accept the circumstances, no matter how challenging they may be. It took me months to learn this; I wish I had learned it earlier so I could have avoided the tears! It is essential to engage in self-care practices that nourish your soul, such as meditating on favorite Bible verses, journaling, or even seeking support groups where others understand your struggles. The journey towards understanding and acceptance often leads us to rediscover ourselves in ways we never expected! This trial will reveal strengths we never knew we had and forge paths toward healing.
Remember, you’re not in this alone! The Lord promises us that we will get through this! Get in the Word and let the Scriptures bring refreshment in the midst of your difficult season!
Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God:I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
We mothers are in the thick of the battle between the enemy and our children. We stand in defense and pray that God will guide them as He did us. But what about children who abandon their parents and spread lies about them? The lies aren’t just to their friends but spread to their parents’ friends, creating a horrible sticky mess! This feels like an outright betrayal! It not only hurts the parent but also distorts the truth, leading to misunderstandings and confusion within the family and church. It can feel like a betrayal of trust, doesn’t it? The same children that depended on you as parents and trusted in you, now are lashing out with venom. When children choose to misrepresent their parents, they unleash a tide of negativity that can engulf even the most loving relationships.
As I was writing this, the consequences of lying came to mind. The seven abominations that the Lord hates in Proverbs 6 reminded me of the gravity of dishonesty and discord it brings into our lives. In those moments, we must hold fast to our faith, seeking wisdom and grace to respond with love rather than anger.
Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: (17) A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, (18) An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, (19) A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
If your trial is similar to this one, as it is for me, we must see our child’s lies in the way God would have us see them. The lies are wicked and create much havoc, often leading us to question our parenting and the impact of our teachings. But how do we deal with this? We must turn to the Source of comfort, our Lord and Saviour! He has the answers as we draw close to Him with our questions. Sometimes our answers won’t come immediately. It may take days, weeks and even months of daily drawing to His side. It’s in the waiting for His answer and/or comfort that we find rest for our souls.
Some of the lies are over-exaggerated memories from their early childhood, while other lies may be based on their Christian upbringing, twisted by the enemy to sow discord and confusion. We must remember that our children are born with the same sinful nature as we were born with, a nature that is susceptible to that deceit and misunderstanding. Satan is all about deceit, remember that. He is especially strong when it comes to our children, whispering doubts and fears to them, preying on their vulnerabilities. He targets them because he knows that if he can discourage the parents, they will lose their effectiveness for Christ, leading to a wider impact on the body of Christ. I know of three such families who serve in the ministry. All three have a prodigal son who has spread such lies, creating a ripple of chaos not just within their homes but also within their congregations. It’s like casting a stone in a lake and watching the rippling effects in the water. It takes quite a while for the ripples to end; each ripple being wider than the previous one. Their lies may spread far and wide, but our God is greater than all their lies! After all, Christ defeats the father of lies at the end of the Millennium!
Satan wants the Pastors to get so discouraged that they quit their post! Disheartened, many parents might feel isolated, as if they are the only ones facing this battle, yet it is a struggle that many families endure silently. My husband and I did. We did not want to drag our other adult son into the midst of the stench. He and his brother are close, and we didn’t want to harm their relationship. But none of the three families mentioned left the ministry. Instead, some drew closer to the Lord Jesus, their Shepherd, drawing strength and comfort from His teachings and community support. He has helped them through the dark times in ways they never anticipated, bringing healing into their lives and enabling them to continue their vital work in serving others. Others still ache and are broken over the loss of their child.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.
Just think of how these three Pastors are able to counsel their members going through the same trial. Their counsel can relieve some of the pain, not only in their members but also their own pain. It’s very therapeutic, as it provides a safe space for individuals to express their struggles, doubts, and fears. Furthermore, their insights and guidance come straight from God’s Word, which serves as a powerful source of comfort and strength. By offering scriptural wisdom, they remind their flock of hope, encouraging them to lean on their faith during difficult times. In turn, this process not only aids the healing journey of their members but also reinforces the Pastors’ own faith, creating a cycle of support and spiritual growth that benefits the entire church.
The same effects are offered to us who aren’t in the ministry. Sharing with other mothers encourages us to seek answers in the Scriptures. I say this often but it paints a beautiful picture: we can be “Jesus with skin on” to others. We cannot live life alone. We cannot be an island. We need each other for encouragement and comfort.
Proverbs 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; (4) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
As we help others, it in turn helps us! God is very economical! 💜 What a loving reward from our Shepherd! That’s what we are doing here. Each of the stories I will be sharing with you are so that we, as Christian mothers, are able to comfort one another in our unique journeys. Our trials are not over—there are still moments of grief, uncertainty, and even joy that we navigate through daily—but we are bearing each other’s burdens and lifting each other in prayer, beseeching the Throne of Grace on each other’s behalf. Our shared experiences create a beautiful picture of support and understanding. Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt. 22:39), and what better way than to help our sisters in Christ to heal! By nurturing each other with kindness and compassion, we not only strengthen our own faith but also build a group where love and hope can flourish, inspiring others to join in this beautiful journey of mutual support and encouragement.
Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
This process is what worked for me in healing from the lies. Are the lies out of your control? Most times the answer is yes. They were for me. The truth will be made known in the end. Trying to correct the lies sometimes digs us into a deeper hole:
Recognize the source behind the lies. The source is the devil as he is the father of lies. (John 8:44) Once we recognize who our child is listening to, it makes it easier to understand. Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our affection on things above and not on this earth. We look to Christ to solve our problems. Sometimes we have to seek outside counsel, but for me it was my Bible. Jesus will have victory over Satan in the end. In the meantime, rest and trust in Him. It took me a few months, but I was able to in the end.
Forgive – Jesus taught us to forgive 70 times 7! In other words, not just 490 times but perfect forgiveness which is never ending. (Matthew 18:22) Think about how many sins the Lord has forgiven you. No matter how many lies… forgive. Forgiveness is actually a gift to us. It enables us to release the resentment and pain. Forgiveness relieves our aching hearts and keeps bitterness from forming. Ephesians 4:30-31 exhorts us not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God by allowing bitterness to form in our hearts. Unforgiveness is like the uncontrollable weed in your garden. If it’s not pulled out by the roots early on, the outcome is a heart overgrown by bitterness. Our child has obviously allowed that same root of bitterness against you to form in his own heart. He is not allowing the Holy Spirit to work in his own life, (if he is saved at tall) but the enemy.
While forgiveness is important, sometimes confronting the person who lied may be necessary. This should be done with love and humility. The goal for us is to try to understand their perspective and encourage repentance. Their memories may be faulty. If you bring to light the truth in humility and love, your child may realize he was wrong. If he is unwilling to repent or he stands firmly in his lies, you may have to set boundaries. In my case, we were not even allowed the option to confront our son. He blocked us from all forms of communication and even returned our mail. Confrontation was not possible, and I resolved to the fact that this was out totally of my control, and all on the Lord! It’s actually the perfect place for the mess to be – in God’s hands and not mine.
Pray – Ask the Father to work out the details without us getting involved in the midst of back-and-forth banter. This type of “defense” does not bring glory to the God. He tells us to be merciful (Matthew 5:7) and to be meek (Matthew 5:5) in our dealings. God is all powerful. He will work out the details if you trust Him with those details, however you must understand that it may not be in your timing, but it will definitely be in His timing.
You may have another bullet to add above; I would appreciate your feedback in the comments! Your thoughts and insights are incredibly valuable, not just to me, but also to other mothers facing similar challenges and trials. By sharing your experiences and perspectives, we can help one another. Together, we can help mothers to heal!
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
I met a lady online whose two daughters left home, and she has no idea where they are or what might have prompted their sudden departure. It must be an incredibly heavy burden for her to bear! She must be filled with countless questions and sleepless nights consumed by worry. She heard from a relative recently that her two daughters are safe and what city they are in. But she still has not heard from them. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is for any parent to face the reality of their children choosing to walk away, without so much as a word or explanation. The empty rooms echo with memories, and the silence must feel deafening, as she wonders if there was something she could have done differently. I would liken a child abandoning his/her parents without as much as a word to an emotional earthquake; such an event would indeed be devastating and leave deep scars that might take years to heal, if healing is even possible.
How does a mother cope with this? How does she live day-to-day? I know why my son chose to stop all communication with us. However, I know how this mother is feeling, deep down in the very core of her being, where love and loss are painfully knit together. Every day before bedtime, as I would shut the blinds, I looked at my driveway, the familiar spot where hope flickers like a candle in the darkness, wondering if tomorrow would be the day that my son’s car would pull up! Would this finally be the moment we reconnect, or would I once again be left holding on to that fragile thread of hope? With each passing day, I find myself replaying memories in my mind—the laughter, the shared moments, the unspoken words that hang heavy in the air. Hope is in my heart, yet the next day comes, and I repeat yesterday’s process: the cycle of waiting and yearning continuing endlessly, yet I cling to the belief that one day, love will bridge the gap that silence has created between us.
Do you feel hopeless, helpless, and filled with despair? You are not alone! God’s Word has solutions to how you feel. Today’s verse (Psalm 34:18) contains two powerful words describing a mother’s heart: broken heart and contrite spirit. We mothers all know what a broken heart is because we are living monuments to that. But what exactly is a contrite spirit? Strong’s defines it as:
dakkâ’ dak-kaw’ From H1792; crushed (literally powder, or figuratively contrite): – contrite, destruction.
I don’t know about you, mother, but my spirit was definitely crushed. How could God allow this in my life? One doesn’t have to go very far in Scripture before reading about the trials of Job. Satan could do nothing to Job without God’s permission. (Job 1:12 and Job 2:6) When you get to the end of the book, you see that because of Job’s faithfulness throughout his ordeal, he is rewarded with much more than when the book began. His unwavering faith serves as a powerful reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is a divine purpose at work. We as mothers must cling to that fact and take comfort in the knowledge that the beginning of our book will look nothing like the end of it. Each chapter is a testament to our growth, our struggles, and ultimately, our triumphs. The end will be according to God’s plan, and there will be blessings found there, waiting just beyond the horizon, revealing the lessons learned and the strength gained through perseverance and faith.
The following verses are known by most Christians. Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (7) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. The word “careful” means “anxious.” That is definitely the way I felt at the beginning of my journey through this nightmare. It took me months to finally understand what I was to do about my feelings, as I struggled with a heavy heart and a racing mind amid the turmoil surrounding me. Paul tells me to tell God about my anxieties and pour my heart out to Him, reminding me that my burdens are not too heavy for Him to bear. The next verse tells us that the peace of God, which goes beyond my understanding, will keep my heart and mind through Christ. When I turn my anxiety over to the Lord, peace follows, flooding my spirit with a calm that I had longed for during my darkest days. I must add that this exercise took a few days before I finally prayed through my anxieties and received that peace, as I learned to surrender my worries and trust in His plan. There I found solace in the knowledge that I am not alone in my struggles. This journey has taught me the importance of faith and the transformative power of prayer in overcoming life’s challenges.
This kind of pain can only be healed by God. There is not a thing you can do to heal the relationship with your child. In fact, you don’t even know where your child is, let alone try to communicate. This uncertainty can be incredibly excruciating and will lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. In a way, this situation should convince you that only God can solve the problem because you can’t! The Lord taught me to trust Him to take care of matters beyond my control, reminding me that His plans are greater than my understanding. I decided right then and there that I was going to work on MY walk with the Lord through this trial, recognizing that my relationship with Him could provide strength and clarity during this awful time. My son is in the Lord’s hands now and I know He is working in that situation. For me, I was going to spend more time praying and reading His Word. This has been the solution for me, as it has not only brought me peace but also strengthened my reliance on His guidance through prayer and reflection, helping me to find a sense of purpose in the midst of the pain.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (6) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
If your cross is similar to mine, please share a comment to encourage other readers who may be feeling downcast or weary on their journey. We can lift each other up and be “Jesus with skin on” to someone else, reminding one another that we are not alone in our struggles. Let’s work together to increase our faith through our trial, supporting one another with love and understanding. It’s in these moments of vulnerability that we truly grow; turning to God’s Word for healing and hope not only fortifies our spirit but also inspires those around us. Together, we can create a community of broken-hearted mothers rooted in faith and compassion, drawing strength from our shared pain and turning to God’s grace to navigate life’s challenges.
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, noton things on the earth.
“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.” – Unknown
I never imagined I would be at a point in my life where I would be writing about this very topic. Lord, why would you allow me to bear this cross? I love the Lord deeply, and I want to be found faithful in every area of my life, embracing His will with open arms. However, this particular trial was going to test my spiritual metal and challenge the very foundations of my faith. It feels as though I am standing on the edge of uncertainty, grappling with emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. I must admit, I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by those emotions. Yet I cling to the promises I’ve learned in my 45+ years of salvation. In these moments, I seek the strength to endure and the wisdom to grow, trusting that even in the darkest valleys, there is a purpose to the pain and a light that leads me forward.
I have so many friends who have the honor of being mothers, and yes, it is an honor! At least a dozen of them are mothers struggling with broken hearts. I am also one of these mothers, and I am intimately aware of the silent battles that so many of us face. If you are a mother who doesn’t have a broken heart over her children, consider yourself blessed! It’s a painful reality that many do not see; often, we put on brave faces, telling ourselves that we must stay strong for the rest of our family. I have to admit that as a born-again Christian mother, this trial, which the Lord has so lovingly allowed me to experience, is my most difficult trial. I find myself questioning the ways in which faith and suffering intersect, seeking comfort in Scriptures that speak of hope, restoration, and reconciliation. Why would a loving God allow me to suffer a pain so deep that it has taken me months to recover? I struggled to reconcile my faith with my heartbreak on this journey. It is one that forces me to seek understanding and strength even in the darkest moments.
In this “shaky” balance, I cling to hope while pleading for complete healing, knowing that there are lessons woven within my sorrow, shaping not only my journey but also the way I can support other mothers who walk this painful path. I’ve discovered there are mothers out there going through the same thing I am, and this realization brings me both comfort and a sense of responsibility. I cannot be the only one that needs “Jesus with skin on”! I’ve learned that there are other women experiencing the greatest trial of their lives. The Lord impressed upon my heart to write this series because I encountered so many different scenarios my friends were experiencing who deal with a mother’s heart being broken, scenarios that mirror my own struggles, fears, and dreams. Each story is unique, yet they encompass the common theme of loss and resilience. I imagine it as creating a tapestry of shared experiences that highlight the strength we can draw from one another. As we journey through this together, I hope to not only share my own story but also to foster a sense of community and healing, encouraging others to understand their pain, to find solace in one another’s journey, and to discover that we are never truly alone in our trials.
Here you will find a compilation of the various ways our children can shatter our mothers’ heart, as their words and actions sometimes pierce more deeply than we could ever anticipate. If you are one of those mothers searching for a ray of hope that the Lord will heal this mess in your life, I pray you find it in this series of reflections and shared experiences. This series is most certainly not exhaustive in the numerous ways our children can pierce the very marrow of our being, but rather a heartfelt exploration of the emotions we encounter on this profound journey. These are simply the ones that were shared with me, stories woven together by countless mothers who have walked similar paths. My desire is to help you get through this challenging time. As mothers, we are in this together, united by our struggles and triumphs.
The fabric of motherhood is a beautiful design of blessings, and yes, disappointments, interlaced with moments of joy that remind us of the deep-rooted love we hold. Join me on this journey of understanding and healing, and let’s support each other as we navigate the intricate tapestry of motherhood together!
Let me close this introduction with Paul’s beautiful exhortation:
Romans 12:12-15 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; (13) Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. (14) Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. (15) Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
