Have you ever heard of living grief? Living grief is when a child who has broken all communication with his parents, leaving behind not just silence but an entire “gulf” of unspoken words and unresolved feelings. The parents mourn their loss deeply, continuously, knowing there is no light at the end of that tunnel. I totally get that! It is worse than grieving over someone who is dead, for with death there is a marked end, a chance for closure that living grief denies. How can I say something that appears thoughtless? You see, reader, death comes with its own finality, a period at the end of a painful sentence. One no longer wonders if the child will come home at the end of the day or if a simple phone call might bring relief to an aching and broken heart. Living grief is open ended, filled with endless questions and a haunting sense of uncertainty. There is no finality, no peace to be found, as each day can either bring hope or despair. Furthermore, if no communication goes on for years, it remains like a cloud hanging ominously overhead, blocking out the sunshine of joyful memories and future possibilities. I must say it’s oppressive, a constant reminder of what once was and what may never be again. There are times that I was in such agony, feeling as if I were carrying the weight of a thousand unasked questions, each one pressing down harder than the last, making it almost unbearable to navigate through daily life.

I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I do see the Light of the world in my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. He is the firm foundation upon which I build my life, and He provides stability in the stormy seas of my life. He is my Rock, unshakeable, unmovable, and steadfast, a source of strength when I feel weary and overwhelmed. He is my Comforter, gently embracing me in times of heartache and despair, reminding me that I am never alone. This trial has shown me how much I need Him to be my “center” in life, guiding my thoughts and actions as I meet each day’s complexities. In every moment of confusion and doubt, Christ has become my focal point in the midst of my day’s challenges, instilling hope in my heart. With His presence, I am learning to trust the process and embrace the journey, knowing that I am held in His loving arms. He has allowed me to go through this painful journey for a reason and therefore I trust Him for its outcome!

Psa 63:1  A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

Surviving each day with living grief is no easy task, and it often feels like driving through a dense fog of sorrow. My first thoughts in the morning are about my prodigal son, a reminder of the memories, now shadowed by reality. To show you how different we mothers are, I have a friend who had to remove her daughters’ pictures from her digital frame because it was too painful for her and her husband; the absence of those images became a shield against the raw ache of loss. In contrast, I have chosen to keep my son’s pictures on my digital frame not just as a way to remember him, but to help remind me to pray for him, despite the pain he has caused and the heartache I endure. I find it therapeutic—like a small ritual of remembrance, it helps me to let go of the hurt and replace it with the Kingdom of God in mind. Each image serves as a catalyst for prayer, encouraging me to envision a future filled with hope and restoration. I pray for his salvation and that the Holy Spirit would have His way with him, guiding him back to what he was taught as a child. This daily practice, though bittersweet, offers me strength and a way to keep my faith alive amid the turmoil.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:8 O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.

Picture in your mind Satan standing behind you, whispering in your ear, telling you that your child had no right to do this to you. Picture him trying to make you dwell on the circumstances of your living grief so that you become embittered and discouraged, feeling as though you are trapped in an emotional maze with no escape. This is what the enemy is all about; he thrives on your pain and seeks to amplify your suffering, attempting to blind you to the love and support that still surrounds you. He wants to devour you and ruin your faith in Christ, dragging you into despair and isolation. But remember, because we are children of Almighty God, we can fight back with the following two verses! It works every time for me, providing a powerful reminder of God’s strength. Stop the enemy in his tracks and quote Scripture, allowing the truth of God’s promises to penetrate the darkness, shining on your path, helping you reclaim your joy and hope in the midst of this horrible trial.

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

The Word of God is powerful! Jesus quoted it to Satan when He was in the wilderness, revealing the strength that comes from Scripture. His example serves to help us learn to use the Scriptures as our sword against the same enemy! (Hebrews 4:12) In times of trials, we can draw upon these divine truths to strengthen our resolve and fortify our spirit. Be encouraged, dear reader! You are not alone in your battle! There are countless sisters in Christ who are dealing with this living grief revolving around their prodigals. They are experiencing heartache and seeking solace through prayer and fellowship just as you are. Together, we can support each other, share our testimonies, and remind one another of the hope that exists in God’s promises. With faith and perseverance, we will find strength to overcome and rejoice in the victories that lie ahead, thanks to the Lord’s intervention.

If you’ve been given this link to help you with your grief but have not experienced the love of Christ in your life, please follow this link and read the Scriptures that will guide you to salvation in Jesus Christ.