Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
We mothers are in the thick of the battle between the enemy and our children. We stand in defense and pray that God will guide them as He did us. But what about children who abandon their parents and spread lies about them? The lies aren’t just to their friends but spread to their parents’ friends, creating a horrible sticky mess! This feels like an outright betrayal! It not only hurts the parent but also distorts the truth, leading to misunderstandings and confusion within the family and church. It can feel like a betrayal of trust, doesn’t it? The same children that depended on you as parents and trusted in you, now are lashing out with venom. When children choose to misrepresent their parents, they unleash a tide of negativity that can engulf even the most loving relationships.
As I was writing this, the consequences of lying came to mind. The seven abominations that the Lord hates in Proverbs 6 reminded me of the gravity of dishonesty and discord it brings into our lives. In those moments, we must hold fast to our faith, seeking wisdom and grace to respond with love rather than anger.
Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: (17) A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, (18) An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, (19) A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
If your trial is similar to this one, as it is for me, we must see our child’s lies in the way God would have us see them. The lies are wicked and create much havoc, often leading us to question our parenting and the impact of our teachings. But how do we deal with this? We must turn to the Source of comfort, our Lord and Saviour! He has the answers as we draw close to Him with our questions. Sometimes our answers won’t come immediately. It may take days, weeks and even months of daily drawing to His side. It’s in the waiting for His answer and/or comfort that we find rest for our souls.
Some of the lies are over-exaggerated memories from their early childhood, while other lies may be based on their Christian upbringing, twisted by the enemy to sow discord and confusion. We must remember that our children are born with the same sinful nature as we were born with, a nature that is susceptible to that deceit and misunderstanding. Satan is all about deceit, remember that. He is especially strong when it comes to our children, whispering doubts and fears to them, preying on their vulnerabilities. He targets them because he knows that if he can discourage the parents, they will lose their effectiveness for Christ, leading to a wider impact on the body of Christ. I know of three such families who serve in the ministry. All three have a prodigal son who has spread such lies, creating a ripple of chaos not just within their homes but also within their congregations. It’s like casting a stone in a lake and watching the rippling effects in the water. It takes quite a while for the ripples to end; each ripple being wider than the previous one. Their lies may spread far and wide, but our God is greater than all their lies! After all, Christ defeats the father of lies at the end of the Millennium!
Satan wants the Pastors to get so discouraged that they quit their post! Disheartened, many parents might feel isolated, as if they are the only ones facing this battle, yet it is a struggle that many families endure silently. My husband and I did. We did not want to drag our other adult son into the midst of the stench. He and his brother are close, and we didn’t want to harm their relationship. But none of the three families mentioned left the ministry. Instead, some drew closer to the Lord Jesus, their Shepherd, drawing strength and comfort from His teachings and community support. He has helped them through the dark times in ways they never anticipated, bringing healing into their lives and enabling them to continue their vital work in serving others. Others still ache and are broken over the loss of their child.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.
Just think of how these three Pastors are able to counsel their members going through the same trial. Their counsel can relieve some of the pain, not only in their members but also their own pain. It’s very therapeutic, as it provides a safe space for individuals to express their struggles, doubts, and fears. Furthermore, their insights and guidance come straight from God’s Word, which serves as a powerful source of comfort and strength. By offering scriptural wisdom, they remind their flock of hope, encouraging them to lean on their faith during difficult times. In turn, this process not only aids the healing journey of their members but also reinforces the Pastors’ own faith, creating a cycle of support and spiritual growth that benefits the entire church.
The same effects are offered to us who aren’t in the ministry. Sharing with other mothers encourages us to seek answers in the Scriptures. I say this often but it paints a beautiful picture: we can be “Jesus with skin on” to others. We cannot live life alone. We cannot be an island. We need each other for encouragement and comfort.
Proverbs 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; (4) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
As we help others, it in turn helps us! God is very economical! 💜 What a loving reward from our Shepherd! That’s what we are doing here. Each of the stories I will be sharing with you are so that we, as Christian mothers, are able to comfort one another in our unique journeys. Our trials are not over—there are still moments of grief, uncertainty, and even joy that we navigate through daily—but we are bearing each other’s burdens and lifting each other in prayer, beseeching the Throne of Grace on each other’s behalf. Our shared experiences create a beautiful picture of support and understanding. Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt. 22:39), and what better way than to help our sisters in Christ to heal! By nurturing each other with kindness and compassion, we not only strengthen our own faith but also build a group where love and hope can flourish, inspiring others to join in this beautiful journey of mutual support and encouragement.
Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
This process is what worked for me in healing from the lies. Are the lies out of your control? Most times the answer is yes. They were for me. The truth will be made known in the end. Trying to correct the lies sometimes digs us into a deeper hole:
- Recognize the source behind the lies. The source is the devil as he is the father of lies. (John 8:44) Once we recognize who our child is listening to, it makes it easier to understand. Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our affection on things above and not on this earth. We look to Christ to solve our problems. Sometimes we have to seek outside counsel, but for me it was my Bible. Jesus will have victory over Satan in the end. In the meantime, rest and trust in Him. It took me a few months, but I was able to in the end.
- Forgive – Jesus taught us to forgive 70 times 7! In other words, not just 490 times but perfect forgiveness which is never ending. (Matthew 18:22) Think about how many sins the Lord has forgiven you. No matter how many lies… forgive. Forgiveness is actually a gift to us. It enables us to release the resentment and pain. Forgiveness relieves our aching hearts and keeps bitterness from forming. Ephesians 4:30-31 exhorts us not to grieve the Holy Spirit of God by allowing bitterness to form in our hearts. Unforgiveness is like the uncontrollable weed in your garden. If it’s not pulled out by the roots early on, the outcome is a heart overgrown by bitterness. Our child has obviously allowed that same root of bitterness against you to form in his own heart. He is not allowing the Holy Spirit to work in his own life, (if he is saved at tall) but the enemy.
- While forgiveness is important, sometimes confronting the person who lied may be necessary. This should be done with love and humility. The goal for us is to try to understand their perspective and encourage repentance. Their memories may be faulty. If you bring to light the truth in humility and love, your child may realize he was wrong. If he is unwilling to repent or he stands firmly in his lies, you may have to set boundaries. In my case, we were not even allowed the option to confront our son. He blocked us from all forms of communication and even returned our mail. Confrontation was not possible, and I resolved to the fact that this was out totally of my control, and all on the Lord! It’s actually the perfect place for the mess to be – in God’s hands and not mine.
- Pray – Ask the Father to work out the details without us getting involved in the midst of back-and-forth banter. This type of “defense” does not bring glory to the God. He tells us to be merciful (Matthew 5:7) and to be meek (Matthew 5:5) in our dealings. God is all powerful. He will work out the details if you trust Him with those details, however you must understand that it may not be in your timing, but it will definitely be in His timing.
You may have another bullet to add above; I would appreciate your feedback in the comments! Your thoughts and insights are incredibly valuable, not just to me, but also to other mothers facing similar challenges and trials. By sharing your experiences and perspectives, we can help one another. Together, we can help mothers to heal!
I will share the verses below each day, so we remember Who is working behind the scenes and in our own lives. He loves you so glorify, bless and praise His Name:
Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psalm 31:3 For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.
Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
Psalm 71:3 Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.
Colossians 3:2 Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.
