Why are the words “honor, obey, and reverence” a difficult pill to swallow with some women? Not fifty years ago, women didn’t bat an eye when the marriage vows were spoken: “I promise to honor and obey him.” What a change today! Sadly, this statement has been removed in most wedding ceremonies :-(. Today’s woman has a warped concept of what reverence, honor and obey really mean.

When a woman reverences her husband according to the word of God, she does not have a problem with honoring and obeying him.

~Ephesians 5:33b … and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines the word reverence as written in Ephesians 5:33 as:

REV’ERENCE, v.t. To regard with reverence; to regard with fear mingled with respect and affection. We reverence superiors for their age, their authority and their virtues. We ought to reverence parents and upright judges and magistrates. We ought to reverence the Supreme Being, his word and his ordinances.

My husband’s role as the head of our home is a position that I do not envy whatsoever. God has given him discernment, leadership, and the ability (physically and mentally) to provide for our family. Recognizing his role as head of our home is one thing. Reverencing him is another. I can submit to my husband’s leadership but that doesn’t mean I am reverencing him if I am submitting on the “outside” but not in my heart. What’s in the heart will come out in my words and actions. How I feel about his role (in my heart) will eventually come out: Do I respect him? Do I defend his position to my children? Do I knock him down in front of my children, or worse yet to others outside of the home? Do I buck him at every corner? Do I belittle him to others? Do I question his decisions and doubt his abilities? These are all areas that will show my true colors when it comes to obeying Ephesians 5:33.

~Philippians 2:3-5 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

The word exhorts us to esteem others better than ourselves – that includes our husbands. In so doing, there is no private or hidden agenda. Complete love does not seek to bring hurt or harm to another. The woman who reverences her husband supports him, esteems him, builds him up and stands behind him. This all sounds wonderful but the proof is in the pudding, so they say: it’s difficult to do if she disagrees with his decisions. Yes, she can share what’s on her mind with him, but she should do so in private – never in front of others, especially the children.

So, how do your children view their father? They will view their father with the same eyes you have, you know. If you disrespect him, they will also. If you reverence him, they will also. Our children mimic what they see and hear. What a wonderful lesson to learn early in the home! :-) Reverencing and respecting their father builds a solid foundation for respecting authority later on. This teaches the child to love, honor, obey and reverence God! Without it, the child grows up with an unscriptural view of higher authority. Don’t we have an awesome responsibility to pass on to our children what God’s word teaches?

I love the following verses because they encourage having God’s word in every area of the home and in every area of our lives:

~Deuteronomy 11:19-20 And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 20 And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates:

As our children see reverence in action on a day-to-day basis, it will be easy for them to reverence God, and other authority figures, because they will know how!