Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. (Pro 27:9)

If you’ve never had a friend that has loved you unconditionally, you have missed out on a precious thing in life. Unconditional love is described as someone loving you no matter what you’ve done to them.

The perfect example of unconditional love is the love shown to us by Jesus Christ. Our sin is the reason He had to die on that cross… in fact, my sin is the reason He had to die on that cross! Yet, He loved me so much that He chose to leave His Heavenly home, come to this earth, and suffer a cruel death … just so I can go to Heaven! That’s as unconditional as love gets, my friend!

As I reflect on this friend in Proverbs 27:9, I see a friend who provides hearty counsel. This friend loves so much that he sticks with a friend through everything. How can I tell? This friend is providing hearty (strong, sincere, warm) counsel. When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to give you strong advice? When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to show you in the Word where you were going wrong? Anyone can give you worldly advice and counsel. Anyone can give you their opinion. But a true friend will counsel you when it’s not easy – when you’ve sinned. A true friend will point things out that will cause you to think. A true friend will show you that the path you’re on is going to lead you to heartache, and possibly chastisement from the Lord.

Do you have such a friend? I do. In fact, my friend is the one who led me to the Lord over 26 years ago. She brings me to tears with laughter – but she also brings me to tears with conviction through the Word. Yes, my heart has to be tender and willing to be taught in order to receive the hard counsel she has to give me. However, how many people do you know in your own life who love you despite of what you are doing? How many people do you know in your own life who see the sin in you yet their main desire is to help you get right with God? That, dear Christian, is a true friend.

I thank God, daily, for my spiritual mother. Not only has she been faithful in her friendship, but she has shared the Word of God with me when it was not easy to receive. She did not compromise the Word just to keep our friendship. She has stood firm and prayed for me so that I would stand firm also. What a friend!

Are you such a friend? Do you offend others by what you say (your opinions) or are the words you give to your friend from God’s Word? My friend’s words were. I could never go back to her and say that what she told me was her opinion. In fact, quite the opposite – she quoted Scriptures and it is very hard to refute God. How could I be offended when it was His Word that was spoken to me?

We should strive to be this type of friend to those the Lord has placed in our path. If they are truly walking with the Lord, they will look at your counsel as sweet. As well, if the Lord has put someone in your life who has given you wise counsel, be sure to keep your heart soft and teachable so the Lord can bless you through that counsel. My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding. (Psa 49:3)

Dear God…
Thank you for sending me
A friend whose love is strong
Leading me always to Your Word
And keeping me from wrong

Prov. 22:24, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:”

Only twice in my spiritual life have I had to remove myself from a friendship because that person was the angry person spoken of in Prov. 22:24. Neither time was pleasant. In fact, both times caused me much grief and inner turmoil. This morning, I am saddened because I have had to do this. The sad thing is that this person will never know the pain and turmoil caused by their actions unless the Holy Spirit is allowed to work in their life.

I don’t believe Prov. 22:24 is telling us to stop a friendship with someone because they have gotten angry every once in a while. However, I do believe that the Lord is speaking of people who have that constant and consistent display of anger and bad attitude. We all know people like this. Nothing ever goes their way – they see the bad in most everything – their mouths get them into much trouble and their words show exactly where their hearts are.

…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Mat 12:34b) But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. (Mat 15:18) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. (Luk 6:45)

God is clear when He tells us that we are not to make friends with an angry person. Why do you think that is? Haven’t you ever been around “Mr. Negativity” for a few hours and started thinking or feeling the same way? I know I have. It is far worse being around someone who is constantly angry and cannot control their temper. Friendship is a close relationship with someone – more than just a casual acquaintance. A friendship involves sometimes daily contact and interaction.

It is a sad state of affairs when you cannot even speak to this person because their angry outbursts take over. It is like a childish temper tantrum. Nor will this person accept admonition – they do not want to see their sin. In fact, in their eyes, they see you as the “bad guy”! They are quick to call you self-righteous for bringing their sin to light. No matter how much Scripture you give this person, their venom continues to spew forth.

One thing I have learned, this person is not a happy person. You become who you hang out with. We preach this to our children – our parents preached it to us. The Lord admonishes us in Prov. 22:24 not to hang out with an angry person. We must heed this warning from the Lord. Otherwise, we will become just like them. How can we be a help to others if we allow ourselves to be sucked into a life of anger and discontentment? We sin against God when we display anger and discontentment. This does not display His Spirit in our lives – whose fruit we should be displaying.

An angry person also is very prideful – they cannot be taught or admonished because they do no wrong in their eyes. But the Lord has much to say about the prideful. I found it interesting that in these two verses in Proverbs, both referenced wisdom coming from the lowly and well advised. The angry person doesn’t follow this route at all. When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. (Pro 11:2) Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (Pro 13:10)

As I heal my broken heart over this cessation of fellowship, I find great comfort in knowing that I’m being obedient to my Heavenly Father. Daily must we put to death the natural man and the pain that this natural man brings. Daily must we set our sights on the Lord, His Word and go with confidence that He will bring us through each trial.

Dear God…
Although my heart is broken
You’ve reminded me that You
Are always there for comfort
With much mercy given too